


Sherlock's Vengeance

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Post Reichenbach Songfics [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Breaking Benjamin, Poor John, Post-Reichenbach, Sherlock's mad, Songfic, What Lies Beneath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 01:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3311105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's angry at Moriarty, but not what he did to him. For what he did to John Watson</p><p>Inspiration: "What Lies Beneath" by Breaking Benjamin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlock's Vengeance

_All in all_

Sherlock Holmes was a complicated man. Married to The Work, self proclaimed “high functioning sociopath”, the world’s only consulting detective, and the annoying younger brother of the British Government.

That is what defined him, he felt. He didn’t realize the way everyone looked at him until after the Fall.

_You’re no good_

Lestrade told John when they first met that he was a great man, and if they were lucky, he might even be a good one. Sherlock hadn’t placed much stock in that until after he faked his death. What was the difference between being a great man, and a good one? He felt there was no difference.

Now he knows there is.

He was a great man because of The Work, and how much he helped people.

The ‘good man’ was what John was. Empathetic, sympathetic, good with people, having a heart- that was the doctor to a T. That’s what it meant to be a ‘good man’.

_You don’t cry_

Sherlock really didn’t cry all that much, if ever. He doesn’t remember the last time he cried before the Fall.

Now he cries every night.

_Like you should_

John cried often, he knew. He cried when the nightmares of the war overtook his being; he cried when they took on a heartbreaking case; he cried when there was an awful case of child abuse he discovered at the clinic. He cried at Sherlock’s funereal, cursing the man in the same breath. He saw John cry as he rushed over to his “body”.

Now, John cries because his best friend was dead, and the person who reestablished meaning to his life.

Sherlock cries about that, too.

_Let it go_

For some reason, Sherlock didn’t want to let go of what Moriarty did to him. No, scratch that. What he did to John. Because of the way Moriarty tied his hands, he had no choice but to fall and fake his death. And now his brave, strong soldier, doctor, blogger and friend was alone. Oh, he had Lestrade and Mycroft and Mrs. Hudson and Harry, but they weren’t Sherlock Holmes. Besides, he really didn’t talk to Harry anymore- her drinking had gotten so out of control that he enrolled her in rehab and said he won’t speak to her until she completed it.

_If you could_

He could, if he wanted to. He could not care about what Moriarty did to the duo that lived at 221B Baker Street. He could live the rest of his life out, disgraced and unable to prove himself innocent; could live the rest of his life out without friends or companions or anything like that.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. And frankly, he didn’t want to. John was just beginning to heal; and then Sherlock’s “death” sent him into another whirling vortex of nightmares and hellish emotions.

And Sherlock, for once in his life, was _happy._

_When love dies_

He loved John. Not the kind of love that Mrs. Hudson probably wanted them to have, with coitus and the like. It was a platonic love, the kind one feels for a friend, a real close companion.

He wasn’t ever able to say that he _truly_ loved someone except for Mum- but mums are different. Mums are _almost_ always loving.

Whenever he made a deduction, he couldn’t help but feel happy whenever John whispered “Absolutely brilliant” or “That’s bloody amazing” to him. Or when John made him tea. Or when he was forced to eat, or sleep. He felt happy that he could soothe the hell John went through at night by playing the violin. It was nice to have someone to explain things too.

Hell, he even missed John complaining about body parts in the fridge. Or the cupboards. Or the bread bin. Or the experiments on the table. Or him shooting the wall.

_In the end_

In the end, Sherlock was happy- he had a great friend, a great life, ridding London of criminals, he had people who cared about him in ways he never thought of.

And in the end, Moriarty stripped that all from him.

_So I’ll find what lies beneath_

That is why he is still hunting Moriarty’s snipers. All but one had dispersed across the globe. India, Netherlands, Russia, America, Brazil, just to name a few. With Moriarty dead, it was a bit harder to find them, but he managed to compile a complete list.

And he was so close.

_Your sick twisted smile_

Out of all the things Sherlock hated about James Moriarty, it was probably that smug little smile he had on the roof at Saint Bart’s. It was so smug, so twisted, truly showing the consulting criminal’s sociopathy.

It was evident then that Moriarty had been toying Sherlock from the beginning. Like a puppet.

The thought made him punch the unoffending pillow in his hotel room in the section of New York City known as “Hell’s Kitchen”. His mark lived in the flat across the street, and Sherlock was waiting for him to appear one day.

He lit a cigarette, stressed out about the memory of Moriarty.

_As I lay underneath_

He was stripped bare at St. Bart’s, on that phone call to John. Upset and anger had shone through his voice, hating that he had to lie to John. He had always been an exceptional liar- the only ones able to catch him in one were Moriarty and Mycroft. And Mum, of course. But with their ability to deduce, it wasn’t that hard to do.

But John didn’t deserve to be lied to. He didn’t deserve to have his heart smashed into a million pieces.

He deserved heads in the fridge and toes in the bread bin, and insisting that he eats, he hasn’t eaten in three days, doctor’s orders.

_Your cold jaded eyes_

The other thing that Sherlock could remember vividly is those cold eyes that Moriarty had on whenever he appeared. Cold, cool, calculating eyes that were constantly deducing, and showing the madman’s true madness.

Sherlock claims he’s a high functioning sociopath. But if there was a _true_ sociopath out of him and Moriarty, Moriarty would win the prize. Every time.

Because, as Moriarty would say as the madness would take over, “I am just SOOOO changeable!”

God, that phrase annoyed him to no end, and he puffed angrily at the cigarette.

He isn’t looking forward to explaining why he picked up his cigarettes again. At least he’s not doing the cocaine, he’s glad he’s done with that.

_Now you turned the tide on me_

Sherlock had a lot of work to do.

First of all, he had to get rid of the remnants of Moriarty’s criminal empire.

Then, he had to prove himself innocent to Scotland Yard and England in general.

Finally, he had to gain John’s forgiveness. 

_‘Cause you’re so unkind_

Gaining John’s forgiveness would be the most difficult task. From John’s point of view, Sherlock had abandoned him, just when he thought they had something, he had died. Then he’s just going to waltz back into his life and expect things to return to normal?

Sherlock wasn’t that good with emotional behaviors and emotions in general, but somehow, he didn’t think it would be that easy.

_I will always be here_

Sherlock put out his cigarette and sighed, looking out into the dirty streets, wishing for a violin. But that was that would be too obvious.

He was always going to regret this decision, even though it was to keep the people he cared about safe.

Especially John.

Because John’s life was worth more than Sherlock’s.

Sherlock was an extraordinarily intelligent human being. And he knew that.

But John was an extraordinary human. He’s intelligent, compassionate, and talented.

The world needed John Watson.

The world could live without Sherlock Holmes.

_For the rest of my life._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


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